On the bottom half of this journey called living, I find myself revisiting my past. Lately in my dreams as well as when I’m awake.
I’m finding that my ability to remember stuff from a lot of my past …basically kinda sucks (at least to my mind)…
I’m gonna chalk that up to being too wrapped up in my own head ….. #mywayofthinking
and as bad (selfish) as that sounds …
It is better than the alternative…
sometimes it scares me how much I’m like my mom in some ways….
and yet I’m also disappointed at times… when I realize…I’m not like her at all in many of the ways I should be.
Aging ain’t for sissies as the say’n goes.
In 2010 I wrote, in one long caffeine-fueled night, an article that would become the most widely shared piece that I’ve ever published on my blog called 10 Ways Not To Become A Successful Photographer. It was part missive, part rant, and part confession about what I saw a lot of people doing wrong in the photography industry at the time – the mistakes and toxic misconceptions that I saw myself and photographers around me, both emerging and experienced, making every day that were poisoning our minds and our work. I’ve read and re-read it so many times over the years, because in many ways it became a litany to stave off my own negativity when things got tough or I felt myself slipping back into those shitty patterns that were holding me and my friends back when I wrote it.
It’s five years later now, and I sometimes find myself wondering…
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Cosmic Cantena Stairway 2/11/2011
and Patio 4/9/2013
Beer and Bokeh – playing with light, reflections and baubles
The progression of my professional life hasn’t been anything I could have foreseen when I was in my 20′, my 30’s or even my 40’s…
And now that I’m in the 2nd half of my 50’s…once again it has taken a turn I didn’t foresee, predict or even necessarily desire..
But in this latest turn of events, I’ll say I’m closer to being in a place that feels right … at least in this moment.
The uncertainties will always be there – and in retrospect I see – that they have always been there. We can be lulled into a false sense of security with the day to day sameness that happens.
Make no mistake, there is no such thing as lifetime security…at least not for most people.
So finding whatever it is that “floats your boat” – for at least that particular moment in time, is a blessing. A blessing to be enjoyed and savored like a fine wine.
And I’m thankful that at this moment in time, I’ve found it.
Sometimes finding the current requires being still…because the current is so slow and calm.
And once you find that current, you may still need to put forth some serious personal energy to move down stream…
It doesn’t mean you’re not following the right current – it just means there will be times when you’ve got to do the heavy work to make the next bend in the river.